I'M Ashamed

[victoria]

I'm embarrassed.
This should be common sense but for me I just can't seem to get it. I'm ashamed that it has come to this but maybe I can come out of this with a better understand for myself. I have a very big problem: I do not know how to make friends. I don't know why I am this way, and I'm done trying to figure out WHY. I only care about WHAT and HOW to fix this now.
I've always been alone since I can remember. I have never had a best friend and never trusted anyone. I don't know what it's like to have someone to turn to or talk to or love as a friend. For me, I don't know what friendship is. I place a wall around myself and often avoid people and shut them out. I feel comfortable this way yet I'm very lonely. I want friends so bad sometimes I cry about it. Sometimes I really like someone and they might like me back but I somehow always ruin it.
When I get to know someone they always have something "weird" about them. They're either too touchy feely (I don't like that) or they're too distant. There's always some hang-up and I want to give up. Plus I always get hurt it seems. I'm either backstabbed or I drive them away some how. I just can't make and keep friends. I
I've had people tell me I'm too nosey or I talk too much once they get to know me. It's ironic because I'm a quiet loner! Yet when I do find a potential friend, I become so excited I just overdo it. Perhaps I'm cursed. I've been labeled a dork and it hurts that I can't fit in. I feel uncomfortable overall around people, yet I wish for company.
I don't look particularly geeky and I don't act quirky ( I didn't think). I'm just a normal intelligent person who wants good QUALITY friends. Perhaps I could have had a "friend" long ago but to me a friend is so much more than just a person you know and call up on the phone. I'm a very loyal friend and I would want only the same. I want a true friend. I'm scared they don't exist.
I feel so alone. I wish I could make sense of it all. Can anyone give good advice and help me.

[cayden]

When I read your post I was surprised to see that I have very similar feelings! I met a potential friend a couple of months ago, but she often invades my space, this touchy feely issue you motioned. I now avoid her. She is a lot younger and has very different interests than I. She is also lesbian and I am not. I think it causes a conflict.
In my heart I know that participating in activities that I enjoy will help me and perhaps you make new friends. ...I've also been trying to step out of my comfort zone and talk to people, get to know them. Good luck to you! Do not feel embarrassed! I think there are a lot of us out there! You can find good friends at www.vois.com

[leonardo111]

Nice thread! I really like your provided information. It's really helpful for me.
Thanks a lot!

[face00007]

cantact me we can talk i have the same problem hehe

[mariyakhan]

dont worry its a common problem with all girls. dont worry about it. some one will come and get you away with all these

[likauysmith]

Beliver yourself, you are excellent